Banned from the Bitchfest: Pink Truth Can Bite My Ass

At the risk of offending some family members and friends, I have to say something.  You people who walk around with that little cell phone thing hanging out of your ear and talking to yourself in the grocery store/mall/etc.  are jackasses.  Seriously.  You’re not that important. 

I can understand using it in the car.  I mean, the jury is still out on whether it actually is safer than a traditional cell phone, but it couldn’t be more dangerous.  But the freaks that walk around all day long with that thing in their ear need to check themselves.  You might as well wear a sign around your neck that says, “I’m retarded”.  ( Yes, I went there.)  It’s worse than grown ups wearing velcro shoes.  It’s worse than a fanny pack. 

When I see you coming toward me talking to thin air, I mentally mark you… JACKASS.  You are forever branded in my mind.  I can’t be the only one that feels that way.  So as you prepare to walk out the door to start your day, and you’re strapping that contraption to the side of your face, know that just by that simple act you are making yourself a target.

I’m an idiot!  Whew.  What a relief.  Meanwhile, enjoy this oldie but goodie:

 I put a google alert on Tracy’s name about a year ago.  (Thanks for the idea, Me.)  It really cut down on my internet stalking time.  For those of you who don’t know what that is, anytime someone googles Tracy’s name and clicks a link I get an email message.  It’s diabolical, I know, but my whites have never been whiter.  I also went ahead and put a google alert on myself.

Here’s the weird thing.  Almost everyday at around 10 or 11 o’clock at night I get a google alert on Tracy.  On a lot of those days at around the same time, I’ll get one for myself as well.  Who the hell is googling me and Tracy almost everyday? 

What’s really sad is that when you google my name, it comes up with nothing.  Now I have it on good authority (some website somewhere) that I am the only person in the entire country with my name.  Apparently I have failed as a human since a google search turns up nothing on me.  Self promotion is not my forte.  But WHO is searching? 

First of all, when the hell did Doogie Howser get this hot??!!! 

Second of all, if they are gonna rub it in our faces that they can kiss that well, then I’m going to join the Christian fundies in wishing them an eternity of scorching hotness. 

My husband loves this show, and last night was the first time ever that I sat down to watch it with him.  OMG, I’m in love with Doogie all over again.  I so totally had a crush on him when I was 12.  I even had a little poster of him by my bed.

SHUT UP.

So gay men everywhere, you must all be punished for making me feel this ache in my belly for NPH. 

Written By: ScrewU

Not to take away from the tragedy that Duh has faced with her burgalization, but I wondered if anyone noticed that we rolled right past 300,000 hits?  That’s a lotta.  Specially when we haven’t done jack in the last couple months.

So anyways, woo hoo for us.  We might just be special.  Too bad I don’t base my self worth off of blog hits… maybe I should start.

So today I came home, and some assholes had broken into my house.  Yep.  I’ve been burgled. 

They got our TV, our Wii, all my jewelry, every electronic thing not literally tied down, all my CD’s, and my freaking sweet ass Coach purse.  They even got my grill!!!  Can you believe that??  I paid like 30 bucks for that on Ebay.  Jerks.

My neighbors saw one of them exiting with our stuff and yelled at them.  They took off.  Guess what they didn’t get?  The computer.  Aw yeah.

I was gone for 2 hours.  I came home and there’s a cop standing in my house.  It was so weird.  He was such a nice guy.  He took the kids around and showed them that nobody was there.  He even helped them look under the beds.  Then we got to wait around for the crime scene guy to dust for fingerprints.  We’ll see if they catch the guys. 

Now we have to start combing the pawnshops for the jewelry.  They took everything worth anything except for one emerald ring that I really don’t like.  Dave gave it to me for my birthday a couple years ago, and I’ve never worn it.  I showed him it was still there.  Even the burglars don’t want it!!  Haha!

I was a little upset that I hadn’t cleaned the house before this happened.  I told the cop that the burglars had trashed the place, and he was like, “really?”  Uh, no.  He just laughed and said his house looks worse.  He was really nice. 

So enjoy this picture of me and my beloved grill.  It will be the last.

One of my fries at Whataburger tasted like garbage.  No, I mean like actual garbage.  Do you know the sickening sweet odor a dumpster gives off?  That’s what my fry tasted like.  I spit that thing right out.

I still ate the burger though.  It tasted great.  I’m not sure if that was such a wise decision.  But in all honesty, if I’m eating at Whataburger in the first place, does it really matter if the fry came out of a dumpster?  Who knows what’s in the food in the best of circumstances.

I probably shouldn’t have eaten the burger now that I’m thinking about it. 

But the other fries weren’t bad.  It was just one rogue fry.  The kids had already eaten theirs with no complaints.

Should I keep the half chewed fry as evidence?  I could put it in a ziploc and bring it back.  “Smell this fry, Whataburger Guy.”  But it’s half chewed.  I could just have really bad garbage breath.  He wouldn’t know.

Shouldn’t have eaten the burger.  UGH.

I can’t  decide what’s worse…eating the burger or trying to rationalize eating the burger.  It was tasty though.

 I realized today that I am totally not interested in Pink Truth.  I haven’t been back there in over a month (maybe two honestly), so today I swung by to see what was up.  I thought I could rekindle my interest. 

I was wrong.

Read the rest of this entry »

Written By: ScrewU

I had to laugh when I saw this post on Pink Truth.  Take a look and see if it makes you chuckle. Read the rest of this entry »

Tracy wrote this article about some other guy:

http://www.sequence-inc.com/fraudfiles/2008/03/11/buzz-created-by-haters-is-still-buzz/

I wonder if she feels this way about herself?  That would be kind of sad if she thought that me, Screw U, and Dizzy were enough to cause a “buzz”.  Maybe PT Lies plus us? 

Naw.