- Jackass in the wild.
At the risk of offending some family members and friends, I have to say something. You people who walk around with that little cell phone thing hanging out of your ear and talking to yourself in the grocery store/mall/etc. are jackasses. Seriously. You’re not that important.
I can understand using it in the car. I mean, the jury is still out on whether it actually is safer than a traditional cell phone, but it couldn’t be more dangerous. But the freaks that walk around all day long with that thing in their ear need to check themselves. You might as well wear a sign around your neck that says, “I’m retarded”. ( Yes, I went there.) It’s worse than grown ups wearing velcro shoes. It’s worse than a fanny pack.
When I see you coming toward me talking to thin air, I mentally mark you… JACKASS. You are forever branded in my mind. I can’t be the only one that feels that way. So as you prepare to walk out the door to start your day, and you’re strapping that contraption to the side of your face, know that just by that simple act you are making yourself a target.
Mercedes said
You are so right-lol! I used to use mine in the car but I haven’t in forever. My bf’s cousin always has his on-but he never talks-lol! He doesn’t even get phone calls when I am around-ha!
Sister Honey Bunch said
I used to work with a girl who would talk on hers all the time. It would weird people out because they would think she was talking to them since she was looking right at them and they couldn’t see the earpiece behind all her hair.
I now have a friend who will meet me for coffee and if I see it on her ear I’ll make her take it off. She always complains because that’s how she answers her phone. So what. Don’t answer.
Blessed said
Ok, the ear thing is strange looking, I agree. But the fanny pack? Is the fanny pack all that strange looking? Not everyone who carries a fanny pack is toting cosmetics. Some men carry them in conjunction with concealed (weapon) carry permits. Some law enforcement officers carry them with a view toward blending in with their surroundings, rather than brandishing a traditionally holstered gun. For example, see here:
http://www.chuckhawks.com/galco_escort_elite.htm
So, while the ear thing is kinda strange looking, the fanny pack (more commonly known as the waist pack) isn’t so strange.
…is it?
Duh said
Thanks for pointing that out, Blessed. Now when I see someone with a stupid fanny pack I’m going to march right up to them and ask, “Hey! Is there a gun in that thing??” But I must disagree with you on one point…it is NOT more commonly known as a waist pack. Everybody calls it a fanny pack. Don’t try to make it sound cooler than it is.
Where are these cops going that a fanny pack will help them blend in? Denny’s? The local bingo hall? They should just suck it up and wear a shoulder holster with a suit jacket. You’d never catch the detectives on Law & Order with a fanny pack. Ice T would never. Fashion first, Blessed.
Blessed said
Yea. I know. You’re right. It is more commonly known as a “Fanny Pack.” But that just sounds so… so… feminine.
Duh said
That’s why you put a gun in there. You have to man that fanny pack up.
BTW, thanks so much for telling me about that. I have a new phobia now.
princessedamame said
Whan I was in school, we called then dick shields.
Funny you posted this – because of the new CA law requiring that you be hands free on the phone while driving, I just got my earpiece today. And solemnly vowed never to use it UNLESS I was driving. Because I don’t want to look retarded.
Scam said
Somebody I work with has one in their ear for their entire shift.
The funny thing is, after 3 years, it’s never actually rung.
Oh to be popular eh!
Duh said
Dick shields?? When did men start rocking the fanny pack? I thought it was exclusively an old lady thing. Now the guys are sticking their guns in there and using them to shield their Johnsons?
I'll have a Cosmo said
LOL….their Smith and Wessons to guard their Johnson’s!!!
princessedamame said
1988 is when I first saw a dude rockin’ the fanny pack. 1988.
Dana said
Fanny packs are for old ladies.
Period. End of story.
Willie Lump Lump said
LOL, I hate that shit too Duh. That’s why i walk around with my cell phone on speaker phone instead. I mean, how fair is it for everyone to hear only one side of the story anyway? Psh!
I know a guy in his early 20s who wears a fanny pack to hold his little video games and psp or whatever the hell it’s called. lol
Chris said
I saw a jackass at the grocery store today!!! She was ultra important in her blue tooth, tennis shoes and sweats. Which one is it lady? Are you so important that you need a blue tooth or are you a lazy slob? You can’t be both.
Amen Willie! Speaker is the only way to go. Especially at a resturant and/or the movie theatre. And you should punch that 20 year old in the face. He’s asking for a good a** whoopin.
Sandy A. said
Finally! Someone speaks up… I totally agree!!
Duh said
I see them all over the place, Chris. It’s unbelievable.
It’s really sad when someone you know and love shows up with one. Dave’s sister had one on while the whole family was together playing a board game. I wanted to cry. I kept thinking, “no, not you too!” It was traumatizing.
Peggy Archer said
We have to have a hands-free device in the car now in California (although texting while driving is still allowed. I still can’t figure out that one), so damn near everyone has the ear thing and is walking around seemingly talking to themselves.
I usually take mine off and leave it in the car, lest I be mistaken for a jackass
princessedamame said
I’m with you, Peggy – I can’t stand to have it in my ear when I’m not in the car. It bugs the everloving shit out of me. I feel “Borg” enough having it in when I’m driving.
pppj said
Ok, fanny packs are okay if you’re in an amusement park. Period. Or you are hiking and carrying water, a camera, a cellphone, etc.. That is cool. Otherwise, it’s not cool.
As far as the blue tooth goes I totally agree. It’s fun to watch people out-shout eachother in the airport. That is some funny stuff there.
I’m just glad they don’t allow people to talk on their cellphones in the airplane as we would have to listen to everyone screaming to their spouse, boss, partner etc.. about their lives.
hey, I got the new iphone and I L-O-V-E it. Anyone else?
Duh said
Water, a camera, a cellphone, 9 millimeter, etc…
fightingwindmills said
LOL, Princess Edamame. Thank you for saying “Borg” because that’s exactly the vibe the guy in the photo is giving off.
Willie Lump Lump said
I leave mine in the car, too.
Otherwise, I feel like a target for the FBI whenever they’re bored and need a few good laughs.
Krysti said
Long time no see ladies! It appears I did not actually fall off the face of the earth. When I saw this, I had to post.
My dear hubby is one of “those people”. He is on the phone all day with his job so he uses one. I hate the damn thing. I push him to take it off when he isn’t actually on the phone, but there is many a time, it just hangs there. I am forwarding a copy of your post to him by email. Maybe now he will believe me that he looks like a dufus with the damn thing hanging in his ear.
Cheers all!
Krysti (Semi-Charmed)
Dizzy said
Fanny packs shouldn’t even be sold in stores anymore if you ask me. Those things are SO 1990s. I used to have one! It’s LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG gone.
I laugh at people with bluetooth. It was wicked cool when it first came out but now it’s just retarded. I also laugh at my co-workers where every break/lunchy/smokebreak/free minute they have their cell phone glued to their face. OMG how much important shit do you really have to say? Or are you talkin their ear off and they are ready to change their number cuz you keep callin whoever you’re talkin to? Geezus you can’t have THAT much important shit to talk about. You’re at your place of employment, earning money so you can USE your phone…..can’t it fuckin wait until you’re shift is over?
Or the idiots who have full on conversations in the bathroom stall? OMG. We actually had to implement a “rule” at work that says you cannot talk on your cell phone while in the ladies room. These people, i’m tellin ya!
gothchiq said
THANK YOU. I LOVE YOU.
pppj said
Ok, just YESTERDAY a woman was in the bathroom stall at the mall and started screaming swear words, and thank goodness the kids weren’t with me and I thought her water broke, her baby was crowning…whatever…
So, I yell back, “Are you okay in there? Do you need HELP?” And she said, “I was just texting my boyfriend and my iphone fell in the toilet.”
Seriously.
Krysti said
Damn, I would hate to be her iPhone. Haha!
Duh said
I would have just left it. Oops, lost my iphone.
jen said
ha ha, too funny….to be honest, I only use my phone the way it was intended, when I have something really important to say. I think JACKASS even when I see people walking around using a regular cell phone, at the store, restuarant, waiting room or wherever – like what do you have to talk about that is THAT important ?? So annoying.
Ken Hagler said
Great post. Just preached on this and will link here. Hope you don’t mind if I use the pic as well?
Duh said
Go ahead, Ken. Share and share alike, that’s what I always say.