Banned from the Bitchfest: Pink Truth Can Bite My Ass

At the risk of offending some family members and friends, I have to say something.  You people who walk around with that little cell phone thing hanging out of your ear and talking to yourself in the grocery store/mall/etc.  are jackasses.  Seriously.  You’re not that important. 

I can understand using it in the car.  I mean, the jury is still out on whether it actually is safer than a traditional cell phone, but it couldn’t be more dangerous.  But the freaks that walk around all day long with that thing in their ear need to check themselves.  You might as well wear a sign around your neck that says, “I’m retarded”.  ( Yes, I went there.)  It’s worse than grown ups wearing velcro shoes.  It’s worse than a fanny pack. 

When I see you coming toward me talking to thin air, I mentally mark you… JACKASS.  You are forever branded in my mind.  I can’t be the only one that feels that way.  So as you prepare to walk out the door to start your day, and you’re strapping that contraption to the side of your face, know that just by that simple act you are making yourself a target.

One of my fries at Whataburger tasted like garbage.  No, I mean like actual garbage.  Do you know the sickening sweet odor a dumpster gives off?  That’s what my fry tasted like.  I spit that thing right out.

I still ate the burger though.  It tasted great.  I’m not sure if that was such a wise decision.  But in all honesty, if I’m eating at Whataburger in the first place, does it really matter if the fry came out of a dumpster?  Who knows what’s in the food in the best of circumstances.

I probably shouldn’t have eaten the burger now that I’m thinking about it. 

But the other fries weren’t bad.  It was just one rogue fry.  The kids had already eaten theirs with no complaints.

Should I keep the half chewed fry as evidence?  I could put it in a ziploc and bring it back.  “Smell this fry, Whataburger Guy.”  But it’s half chewed.  I could just have really bad garbage breath.  He wouldn’t know.

Shouldn’t have eaten the burger.  UGH.

I can’t  decide what’s worse…eating the burger or trying to rationalize eating the burger.  It was tasty though.