Me and Jesus are tight.

prayercirclephoto.jpg

I am a Christian, and I believe in the power of prayer.  I especially believe Matthew 18:19-20:

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”

I truly believe that when Christians come together in prayer, their prayers will be answered if it is God’s will.  The problem is most people are praying for the wrong things.   That being said, I’d like to tell you about a dream I had.  A dream I had on Friday night. 

I dreamt that I was in a waiting room, like the waiting room of a doctor’s office.  I sat for awhile reading a People magazine, and then my name was called.  I walked through the open door to an office.  Seated behind the desk was Jesus.  He looked like this:

man.jpg

“Well, Erin,” he said with a grin, “I see you’ve gotten yourself in trouble with some folks.”

I tried to play dumb, but this is the Son of God we’re talking about here.  “Why Jesus, whatever do you mean?”

Sitting on the desk was a large leather bound book about the size of the Houston telephone book.  Jesus flipped it open.  He said, “There’s seems to be some ladies on an internet chat room complaining about a blog you write.  Now you know my rule about answering group prayers, but I just wanted to ask you about all this before I had your hands cut off in a freak chainsaw accident.” 

“You know I could type like that Stephen Hawking’s guy even if you cut my hands off.”  Yes, even in my dreams I have an answer for everything.

“Do you mean to say that even if I cut your hands off you still wouldn’t have learned your lesson?”  Jesus always has an answer too.

There really is only one way to deal with Jesus.  You just have to level with him. 

“OK JC, what do you want me to do?”

“Erin, I’m really in a tight spot.  You see, I think you’re blog is groovy, man.  I think you’re right on!  I’m totally picking up what you’re laying down.  But I have to answer this prayer.  It’s in The Book.”

“Oh.”

“I guess I don’t have to be so harsh though.  How about I just give you a really crappy internet connection?”

“That seems fair.  I’m sure the PT ladies will be very happy that you answered their prayer.”

Jesus looked very pleased with himself.  Standing up he said, “Well, I guess that’s it then.  Remember to give your parking tag to Gabriel to validate.”  POOF!

The moral of this story is: When you are in an internet chat room, before you form a prayer circle to bind someone, make sure that someone is not in there lurking. 

37 Comments »

  1. You Ain'T No DaIsY said

    LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  2. rotfl said

    Tracy’s working on getting some new friends because she already drove everybody else away. Wonder how long it’ll take before those dipwads in that chat room realize tracy’s crazier than an outhouse in a limousine?

    stupid stupid stupid. Cuz Jesus knows about all of Tracy’s dirty little tricks.

  3. I LOVE CATS said

    Duh, you mean to tell us that you infiltrated the chat room yet again? This is hysterical. You know TC is clamouring to figure out who the hell you were posing as.

  4. ScrewU said

    Haha! Tracy is sh*tting in her pants right now. Good job fly on the wall.

  5. You Ain'T No DaIsY said

    ScrewU – did you get back into PT? (weren’t you the one who said you could get back in there from a work computer?)

    This is so funny. I never like to laugh at Prayer Warriors usually – but I think there’s another moral here:

    “When praying to hurt, hinder, or “bind” other people, first make sure that you are on the RIGHT SIDE. Jesus knows more than you do.”

    I’m still cracking up over here. 😉

  6. taterbug said

    I died laughing when I read this. Now they will be scampering to figure out who was in on their chat! Goobers all of ’em.

  7. notrollsplease said

    LOL, this is getting good

  8. Me said

    Please tell me that they don’t go into the chat room and PRAY for something to happen to your blog! You ARE kidding, right?

    And if you’re not, I wonder what they pray about mine…..

  9. What What said

    Wow, this post just reminded me why I like this blog so much! Jesus is my homeboy too – I’m glad he decided to spare your hands. However, it wouldn’t have been terribly sad if he went after those toes you posted a pic of…

  10. Napoleon Dynamite said

    Wowzers. I am so offended by this as I am a mormon. GOSH.

  11. Duh said

    Those were SOOO not my toes.

  12. Robin Loves Batman said

    Duh, this shit is funny. Tell me more about this prayer circle. What the hell is THAT about???

    bitches yo

  13. What What said

    LOL! I figured that much…actually I prayed they weren’t your toes and He obviously answered my prayers. Whew, because those are nasty!

  14. PTSucks said

    Maybe we should start our own little prayer group to ward off the evil Tracy cooty spirits.

  15. taterbug said

    Those toes were pretty gross. How could anyone walk with feet like that?

  16. Robin Loves Batman said

    I am so glad I got booted when I did. I don’t do prayer circles.

    bitches

  17. taterbug said

    Don’t even tell me that the queen was in on this prayer circle. How many ways can we say hypocrite?

  18. Weeble said

    Okay, I was in chat too. It wasn’t really a “prayer circle” per se, but it was kinda weird. Like kinda uncomfortable. But I think most of us just went with the flow. I think I know who you were, duh. You totally did a good job covering and going along with it.

    The two of us are probably totally banned by this time tomorrow. But you know, weebles wobble but they don’t fall down. We’ll be back.

  19. Zoe said

    LMAO! Wow @ internet prayer circles. hahahahahahaha. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be the funny part or not.

  20. thecheesestandsalone said

    Ha, Ha, Ha!!!! I was able to get back in and have done a little lurking lately, too. In fact, Duh, I may be able to get you some more stuff later today.

  21. 'Sup said

    Ok, I have to know what they said! Come on!!

  22. OMG I wish I could get back in! There were no “prayer circles” when I was last in the “chatty chat”, just people passing around imaginary booze.

    Oh hell, did I finally write a post without typos?!

  23. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

  24. She Who Must Not Be Named said

    I am wondering if JC can get out of granting that request on a technicality – because they were VIRTUALLY together, but not PHYSICALLY together… so it doesn’t count.

    The fact that there are tons of anti-MK people who are also anti-Tracy should tell all the newbies that there is a major problem with ‘the Queen.’

  25. tracysucks said

    This is the funniest blog ever. Duh, you are hilarious!

    And they are still doing that ignorant imaginary booze????????????

    yawn

  26. catarata said

    That made me laugh so hard. I wish I was such a badass in my dreams.

    One of the major things that initially bored me about PT was all the damn, ‘i’ll pray for you!’s and people getting offended about any and everything. Yawn!

    Your blog is hilariously offensive. I think someone should start a post about ‘this awful blog I found about PT’ on the discussion board and see what happens. Hate mail is sure to follow!

  27. Duh said

    I wish someone would. Unfortunately that post would last about 15 seconds and the poster would be banned.

  28. thecheesestandsalone said

    Yep….I tried. The first one last 37 minutes (and got one of my screen names banned). The second one (under a new screen name and at a new computer) lasted about 15 minutes and got that screen name banned.

    But at least some folks may have seen my posts before they got zapped, right?

  29. Duh said

    Hey Cheese,
    I forgot you had posted a link. What did you say in your post that was so heinous that you were banned?

  30. thecheesestandsalone said

    I can’t remember, but I think I just posted the link. Maybe something like “Hey, check this out.”

  31. […] Pink Truth:  I haven’t read any of the blogs in a week, so I had to sort of skim over a lot of them.  Pink Truth was one that I skimmed.  I really tried to read it, but my eyes just kept glazing over.   I did see that Tracy posted a video from Gloria Mayfield Banks.  GMB then made the video private or something so Tracy had to repost it.  She then had the nerve to send GMB an e-mail asking why she had made it private if everything was on the up and up.  Considering how pissed Tracy gets when I post pictures from her site, I would think she would understand why GMB did that.  Oh wait, that would mean that Tracy would have to have EMPATHY and FEELINGS.  Raisinberry is talking to God in another post.  Doesn’t she realize that I’m the only one who can talk to God?  https://somecallmeduh.wordpress.com/2007/05/29/117/ […]

  32. Dr Marcurs Jones PH.d MD said

    Only the chosen ones can look at Gods face, those that have faith him will be saved all other will not?

    St Michael and the seven Prophecies,

    The seven prophecies of St Michael as recorded by the Lord’s Templar Knights other wise know as Knights of Gods Templar (Knights Templar)

    The First two prophecies that St Michael wrote about? was the two current conflicts, the wars in
    Iraqi and Afghanistan also within the first two of these prophecies he said that in the year 2007

    The name of the Lords Templar would be cleared of all false charger against them, which came true in the year 2007, when the Vatican realest secret documents confirming there innocents

    He also wrote about the deaths of a princess and her prince, in the year 2007 by dark forces close to her and him which also came true (Dianna and Dodi)

    The third prophecies to come true was that gods face would appear in the heavenly clouds in the year 2008 and all that have faith in his father would see this sign?
    which also came true in July 2008 Gods face did appear in the clouds above

    That’s 3 out of the 7 that have come true which leads me the believe that other 5 prophecies will also come true? As it was so written so shall it be done

    If you go to eBay and type in “Gods Face 2008”,
    and if you are one of the chosen ones, you’ll see Gods face the third prophecy to come true

    And now the four prophecy which is said that St Michael will retune to lead Gods faithful to the light of God.

  33. Duh said

    St. Michael told me that you’re a fuckhead.

  34. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Wow this person sure picked an old post to write their bullshit out. Nice.

  35. Willie Lump Lump said

    ‘The third prophecies to come true was that gods face would appear in the heavenly clouds in the year 2008 and all that have faith in his father would see this sign?
    which also came true in July 2008 Gods face did appear in the clouds above’

    ????? You wrote this JUNE 29, 2008 and the first day of July 2008 isn’t even over yet so how did you come up with God’s face did appear in July 2008?? Time travel, much? You rolling in a De Lorean, too?

  36. Duh said

    I saw God’s face in the clouds. He looked like a bunny.

  37. Chris said

    So were you scared of him then?

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