Paranoia is contagious.

blameblame.jpg

  I’m starting a brand new category.  It’s called “Blame Tracy”.  I like to play a little game with myself.  Whenever something bad happens to me, I like to blame someone who is probably not responsible.  That person is almost always someone who just pisses me off in general.  I just like to have an excuse to dislike them even more.  For now, that person is Tracy.

Example:

A few weeks ago a strange man knocked on my door.  When my husband answered, the man became very flustered and asked him for some money.  He was dirty.  He had foam crusted around his mouth.  He looked like a crack head fo sho.  Did Tracy send this man to my house to torment me?  Probably not, but I can still blame her. 

To Tracy:  Stop sending crackheads to my house!

 A few days ago we got a visit from an official from the city of San Antonio.  Apparently “someone” (Tracy) called the city on us because we have a lot of brush in our yard.  We are trying to fix up our yard.  The brush is neatly piled waiting for our neighborhood brush pick up which is scheduled for the next few weeks!  Because someone complained though, we now have to bring all the brush to the backyard, and then when it’s our brush pick up day bring it back to the front yard again. 

To Tracy:  I’m sweaty and dirty from carrying brush from the side of the house to the back.  I hope you’re satisfied!  Damn you, Tracy.  Damn you.  I know it was you that complained to the city.  Don’t try to deny it!

What can you blame Tracy for today?

58 Comments »

  1. PTSucks said

    I blame Tracy for my bad menstrual cramps, bad mood and overall dislike of internet bullies.

  2. Duh said

    To Tracy: Stop giving PTSucks cramps. Please crawl out of her vagina immediately.

  3. 'Sup said

    OMG! You are so funny DUH!

    I blame Tracy for not being able to lose these last 10 pounds. Bitch.

  4. Duh said

    To Tracy: Stop force feeding ‘Sup Twinkies and Quarter Pounders.

  5. Me said

    I had a snake at my front door the other day and now I know it was Tracy that put it there. Thanks for clearing that up!

  6. ScrewU said

    I blame Tracy for large corporations being incompetant, the government for being so irresponsible and for the decline in our economy. Also for the cost of gas and the demise of our society.

  7. My boss is loading me up with tasks today, but all I want to do it plan my annual 4th of July party.

    Thanks Tracy!

  8. I blame tracy and her crack for global warming.

  9. I LOVE CATS said

    I blame Tracy for my stretchmarks, my wide ass, my saggy tits, and my flacid vaginal walls.

    Thanks, Tracy!

  10. I blame tracy for Sanjaya thinking he has talent.

  11. 'Sup said

    I blame Tracy for Paris Hilton.

  12. whatever said

    I blame Tracy for the death of 2pac.

  13. LOL Whatever. I like that.
    I blame Tracy for the flat tire I had on my way to work this morning.

    bitches

  14. I blame tracy for Rosie O’Donnell’s temper tantrum. 😛

  15. turdontherun said

    Who put the calories in chocolate?
    Who invented hangovers?
    Who decided it was a good idea to turn up the volume on the commercials?

    AAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!

    I feel better now.

  16. Oh man, you noticed that commercial thing too??? I HATE that.

    Oh, I also blame Tracy for making sure the jack to the car was so tight in it’s little storage area that I had to call my husband to assist me in changing my tire. I HATE THAT!

    bitches

  17. I blame Tracy for

    1) Imus’ termination

    2) Clinton not inhaling

    3) The Bush Administration

    4) because noone can find Waldo!

  18. PT is Smokin'........Not said

    Well, I don’t blame Tracy for Me’s snake, because I’m pretty sure Tracy WAS the snake. Trying to get some insssssssside information on why everyone’s against her. 😉

  19. She Who Must Not Be Named said

    I blame Tracy for the war in Iraq. I think she was the one who started the whole ‘weapons of mass destruction’ thing.

  20. Me has a pet snake?
    Wow. That’s pretty cool.
    *waving to my lover Me*

  21. Me said

    PT is Smokin’ — I bet you’re right! I hadn’t thought of that. Didn’t work though….

    (shudder) what a creepy thought that Trac almost got in my house!

  22. Holler! said

    I blame Tracy for my running out of gas on the side of a backroad today and having to go back and forth with my friend to get gas in a can that is safety locked. I blame her for my miserable menstrual cramps. I blame her for my bank having their heads in their butts and having my account all jacked up.

    Can I blame her for my house looking like a crack den outside?

    That would totally rock if I could.

  23. Duh said

    You bet Holler! If Tracy would stop leaving syringes in your yard, would it look like a crack den still? I don’t think so!

  24. Dana said

    I blame Tracy for the high gas prices. It cost me $35 the other day to fill my tank!

    Stupid Tracy. She sucks.

  25. $35 to fill up! I blame Tracy that my SUV only takes Premium, and that I live in California with all its stupid gas laws, so it costs $45-$50 to fill up. I also blame Tracy that I have a 25 miles commute, so I have to fill up twice a week.

    Douche…

  26. Dana said

    I blame Tracy for the fact that my car only holds 10 gallons so I have to fill up more often than my friends. Stupid hos whose cars hold 12-15 gallons!

    I also blame her that my boss won’t let me have the rest of the day to go shopping.

    I also blame her for making me write on this blog to say how stupid she is.

    I also blame her for the roadkill I passed on my way to work this morning that made me slightly queasy.

  27. Robin Loves Batman said

    I too blame Tracy for my menstrual cramps. I had to go home early because of it.

    I blame Tracy that it cost me $25.00 to put 7 gallons of gas in my car, and that I fill up at 1/2 a tank so it doesn’t make me go into convulsions. Is that spelled right?

    I blame Tracy for my kitties fighting this morning and for me not being able to sleep last night because it seems like it was a full moon.

    I also blame Tracy for my husbands alarm clock not going off so he made me run late this morning.

    I blame Tracy for the bitter decaf coffee I bought at 7-11 this morning.

    The list could go on and on…

    bitches

  28. TracySucks said

    I blame Tracy for manipulating Eve into eating the forbidden fruit.

  29. She Who Must Not Be Named said

    Yeah, come to think of it, she is a snake.

  30. WuvMK4ever said

    I blame Tracy for f**king up my mother’s day when i ‘stumbled’ upon her blog. Stupid bitch

  31. I blame Tracy for having no d*ck in her life. 😛

  32. whatever said

    I blame tracy for the braille written on drive thru ATMs, my splitting headache and for the traffic I sat for 2 hours in this morning.

  33. Damn it! Thanks to tracy, I just got outbidded on ebay. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  34. Robin Loves Batman said

    Tracy-Licious ~

    Maybe she’s a lesbian?

    bitches.

  35. Golly Ms. Molly said

    I blame Tracy for:

    Global warming

    The depletion of the ozone layer

    Hurricane Katrina

    My crappy health insurance benefits

    Oh and the Great Depression…. *sigh*

  36. I blame tracy for donating too much money to her stupid blog

  37. Well then I blame Tracy for NEEDING d*ck in her life. 😛

  38. sicknstink said

    I blame Tracy for my excellent butt-sniffing skills. 🙂

  39. QueenPT said

    I blame myself for the existence of this pathetic blog. Idiots, ALL OF YOU!

  40. sicknstink aka Happy2beaButtSniffer said

    I blame Tracy for having to change my screen name.

  41. Dana said

    Have we been visited by the Queen of PT herself once again?

    I blame Tracy for making me post this comment.

    I blame Tracy for the disgusting period education video Duh posted last week.

    I blame Tracy for the cold air-conditioning in my office.

    I blame Tracy for the fact that you are all lame.

  42. New To Pink said

    There are so many things I could blame her for!

    1. The HOA never staying off my ass about the kids toys, or the house needing painting, or the wood pile not being straight enough (I feel you on this Duh!)
    2. My children that always seem to fight relentlessly when the phone rings or I am trying to watch some stupid tv show.
    3. My toothache that I had to see the dentist for today.
    4. My PMS.
    5. My hubby snoring.
    6. The dirty laundry that is piling up (I know she told my children to change their clothes 4 times a day!)
    7. The fact that I can burn nearly everything I try to cook.
    8. My cell phone battery dying when I am on an important call.
    9. The pharmacy being sooooo slow with my prescription (that I really want because the numbness is going away quickly.)
    10. That I will probably have to soup for dinner because I won’t be able to chew yet!

    I am sure there are more, but I will stop now. Gonna call the pharmacy!

  43. bigfatloser said

    I blame Tracy for my mental retardation.

  44. She Who Must Not Be Named said

    I blame Tracy for AIDS, Malaria and Chicken Pox.

    Oh, and the Black Plague. Damn you!

  45. tracysucks said

    I blame Tracy being being such a moron that all the pro-mkers think scary kay is a real business now that everyone knows she is insane.

    Nope, just because TC is a nut doesn’t make scary kay legitimate.

    MLMs suck, Mary Kay sucks, and Tracy sucks!

  46. Robin Loves Batman said

    I blame Tracy for the stubborn, black hair that grows on my chin.

    bitch.

  47. Holy crap Batman said

    Robin, Why don’t we just take you to an aesthetician for a head to toe body wax, eh?

  48. Holy crap Batman said

    But I do like my ladies hairy. So it’s your call.

  49. Holy crap Batman said

    I wonder if Tracy has facial hair?

  50. I just gave my pussy (“Grill”) a shave.

  51. Robin Loves Batman said

    ew

    bitches

  52. thecheesestandsalone said

    I blame Tracy for:

    -my allergies and the entire allergy season
    -sending deer and rabbits (her evil footsoldiers) to eat my perennials
    -encouraging Britney to marry K-Fed and shave her head
    -beach traffic
    -fine lines and dry, flakey skin

  53. New to Pink said

    i blame her for today’s heat and humidity! ugh!

  54. thecheesestandsalone said

    Today a rock popped up and chipped my windshield! Goddamit, Tracy! That’s not funny!

  55. Robin Loves Batman said

    Yes, I can now blame Tracy for the piece of metal shit I ran over with my tire yesterday morning, which resulted in a flat tire because of the HUGE gash in it.

    I also blame her for the fact that I could not get the equipment out of my car to change the damn thing cuz it was stuck in there so tight. I had to call my huz to help me. I know how to change a tire damnit! Is it MY fault the jack was jacked up? No, it is TRACY’S fault! I was 1/2 hour late for work because of that bitch.

    bitches.

  56. Duh said

    “Oh, I also blame Tracy for making sure the jack to the car was so tight in it’s little storage area that I had to call my husband to assist me in changing my tire. I HATE THAT!”

    Robin, you have to come up with something else to blame Tracy for. You already blamed her for the jack. Blaming her for something twice is just cruel.

  57. Robin Loves Batman said

    I must blame Tracy a 3rd time for jacking with my jack. It’s just so messed up.

    bitches.

  58. Dana said

    I blame Tracy for the GM strike.

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