OK, what disgusting bitch poor soul googled “vaginal flatulence” and found herself at my blog?
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FreeFromMK said
Oh my. It’s true! I swear, Duh, I only did it after your post. Just couldn’t believe it.
Cocktail Anyone? said
Does it really matter. They found the freakin blog. Be thankful!
She Who Must Not Be Named said
Isn’t there a word for vaginal flatulence?
Yup said
Queef
She Who Must Not Be Named said
That’s what I thought. I am just a terrible speller. I still can’t get that hypocrite word down…
H-I-P-P-I-E-O
dammit!
The Cheese Stands Alone said
This comes to us from http://www.girlsandcorpses.com (which you will also get if you google “vaginal flatulence”)…..
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Queefing definition: v. (flatus vaginalis, cuntus eruptus):
Vagina flatulence. Does not necessarily result from intercourse – lack of muscle tone leads to this type of female fart. This also has been know to be a hobby for some folks in mastering the art of queefing
“Queef” (onomatopoeia) “pussy fart” and “vart” are slang terms which refer to vaginal flatulence. Also, know as (slang): Playing the cunt trumpet, shooting skeet without a shotgun, balooning the Grand Canyon, ruffling the curtains, farting down under (Aus), powdering the asparagus (Eng.), killing gnats without a swatter, poon puffer (Blk Amer), playing ping pong without a paddle (Thai), airing out the mud flaps (TX), clam breeze (New Eng), Tea party for sailors (unknown origin).
How to Queef in 5 easy steps:
Ladies, lie on your back on a comfortable surface. (A pool table will do just fine – though preferably not one in play). Next, gulp air like a goldfish out of the bowl, or, suck on a vacuum cleaner going in reverse. Next, gently press down on your diaphram with the palms of your hands. (note: If you diaphram is not inside you at the moment — don’t fret). Now, squeeze your stomach muscles, like you are pooping Arnold Schwartzenneger — until seat beads pop onto your forehead And, if you’re lucky, a mighty wind will expel from your inner bagpipe and blow out a candle half way across the room. Congratulations ladies – you have queefed.
Next week — “Pussy Farts” by Maya Angelou.
Watch the National Geographic Special:
Michael Jackson — The Man who would be Queef.
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I love “cuntus eruptus”! I think I have a new screen name for Tracy! (evil grin)
WishICould... said
“Powdering the asparagus?” LOL
I truly learned something new here tonight.
Duh said
Thank you Cheese. I’m glad you found what you were looking for. I have but one word for you and your *ahem* problem….
KEGEL.
Meow Mix said
Wow….what has this turned into? Edumacation on queefing? Say it aint so!!! I hate it when that happens after some really good sex….all that in and out…and whoopsie…there’s a queefie…..not cool man. Not cool.
BITCHES!
The Cheese Stands Alone said
….sniff…sniff….sniff….
Who cunt the cheese?
Tracy, is that your beaver burp I smell? Are you making muff music?
Duh said
OMG!!
I’m laughing so hard, I’m actually crying!
Beaver burp???? LOL
Meow Mix said
LOLOL OMG Cheese………….that made me laugh…………..for real………….hahahahahahaha
The Cheese Stands Alone said
Thank you, thank you very much.
princessedamame said
Yes, Meow, and it’s usually after really good sex that it happens…
SOG knives said
SOG knives…
Interesting ideas… I wonder how the Hollywood media would portray this?…