Tracy thinks everyone on PT is an idiot.

She must anyway.  She posted this:

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Author Topic: Spanx – A little help holding it all in  (Read 145 times)
TRACY

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Spanx – A little help holding it all in

« on: May 06, 12:29 PM »

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Have you ever tried Spanx??? If you have a little (or a lot) excess weight, these are great for helping hold things in.

I call them Bionic Underwear. They do NOT feel tight at all once they are situated correctly. They just feel like your body is a little firmer than it otherwise works.

Here’s how you do it….

1. Buy Spanx in your regular size… S, M, L, XL, 2XL, etc.
2. I recommend starting with the mid-thigh shapers. They’re the easiest until you get used to them.
3. The first time you put these on, you will think you got ones that are TOO SMALL. Fear not. YOU GOT THE RIGHT ONES!!!
4. Pull them up little by little, alternating legs. Do NOT just pull on the waist band. Scrunch them up and pull the who thing with your hands.
5. Once you get them up over your butt, then make sure that the crotch is pulled all the way up.  If it’s not, keep pulling, especially at the bottom of them around your thighs.
6. When they’re on correctly, situated well around your butt… start breathing again. Don’t they feel wonderful???
7. Now go put on your pants. What a difference!!! Don’t they look great? No panty lines. No bulges. Just nice and smooth….


 Obviously Tracy believes that the ladies are so stupid that they need directions on how to squeeze their asses into a girdle.  I hope her next post is about how to put on a bra.  Or maybe…

22 Comments »

  1. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    That’s funny. First of all, if anyone follows fashion, and most recently “American Inventor”, you would already know about SPANX. Duh. Secondly, I think all of us at one time, especially ex-MKers, have worn pantyhose. It’s the same concept but without it going over your feet. Pantyhose must be pulled up and adjusted correctly in order to fit properly. Home girl is stretching to find topics that are not “negative” or whatever. Or maybe she’s just bored and is trying to remind us that she is a full figured woman who wants to look better? Like we care?

    BITCHES!

  2. Me said

    She would know………

  3. “6. When they’re on correctly, situated well around your butt… start breathing again. Don’t they feel wonderful???
    7. Now go put on your pants. What a difference!!! Don’t they look great? No panty lines. No bulges. Just nice and smooth….”

    This sounds an awful lot like an MK sales pitch. Doesn’t it feel smooth? Doesn’t it feel wonderful? Don’t you look great??

  4. “I call them Bionic Underwear.” – Ugh, the mental picture! Eeeeeew!

    If I ever say I need “bionic underwear”, please let my BFF know it’s time to put me down.

  5. Me said

    Semi–this is the third comment by you that has made me laugh out loud! You are too funny!

  6. 'SUP! said

    Does she have a shopping link so her followers can hurry over and order?

  7. ScrewU said

    Duh
    You will use any excuse you can to play that video.

    Yes… Tracy thinks the world is full of idiots. Of course, her fat ass would be a big fan of spanx. Can you even imagine how big she would look without them? man oh man

    Clickety click… she has to think of new ways to say shop from my links since she had to take down her big sticky that said BUY SOMETHING

  8. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    OMG LOLOL……………

    Now ScrewU….you know I don’t advocate making fun of one’s weight. But you must made me snort my vitamin water….not cool.

    BITCHES!

  9. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    typo….

    “You just made me snort my vitamin water” not “you must”….god…..

  10. The Cheese Stands Alone said

    oh god…..I had forgotten about that creepy kid in that video. ick.

    Actually, the bigger ick is the image I now have burned on my brain of Tracy squeezing her big ham hocks into a pair of Spanx. Ugh. Like putting a condom on a watermelon. Can you image her trying to peel herself out of those sweaty, sticky suckers at the end of a hot day?

    I guess Tracy finally got her “big girl panties”, huh?

  11. putting a condom on a watermelon…….now that’s frigging funny. oh, the metal picture! :))

  12. MK4ME (B.S.) said

    With the description it reminds me of a saying I have heard my dh say, something about 10lbs of sh*t in a 5 lb bag?? But may I suggest if one is squeezing in and up that much loose flubber, one better not stop at the waist but keep on going up to about the neck!! The wubby, Micheline tire man look really is not attractive! 😦

  13. Duh said

    I have that problem MK4ME. What I like to do is pull my pants up really high and tuck the flubber into my bra cups. It looks very nice.

  14. I knew that wasn’t all REAL cleavage!

  15. MK4ME said

    You know, so many were happy when MK said “panty hose” not required, well you will all be thankful, I have decided to keep wearing my super strong control top panty hose so that when I stop walking my body doesn’t continue to wiggle! And Duh, thanks for the suggestion, I will have to try that.

    This is good for laughs, do not ever safety pin your slip strap if it breaks when you are putting on your spandex slip on your way to the airport. Went thru the metal detector and it went off like I have never heard it go off and damned near got strip search on my way to Dallas. (The woman kept saying now, when the wand goes off I will have to pat you down, but I will only use the back of my hand. If you would like, we can go to a private screening room with another attendant present, I was so afraid I was going to miss my flight, I said, heck no – just go for it, everyone in here looks like they could use a good laugh, figured I’d never see any of them again anyway!

    Then she said I must have had an actual underWIRE bra (necessary to keep the girls perky, ya know) so I just looked at her and said “would you like me to remove it? I am very good at getting it off and pulling it out my sleeve?
    She really just didn’t know what to say.

    Sh*t, just realized I missed a perfect opportunity to warm chat! uggggg

  16. followourflip said

    LOL! Wow, I can’t believe I sat here and watched that whole video. I was waiting for something funny, but it was just weird…..

    And I hate spanx. When I gave up pantyhose I gave up all versions. No matter what you call them, they still roll when I bend over, and are a pain in the @ss when I go to the bathroom…..

  17. Dana said

    MK4ME, that is very humorous. Actually, this whole thread. I actually had to cough to cover laughter, and I’m not usually a big laugh-out loud person.

    I might have to stop reading this at work if I don’t learn self-control. 😦

  18. Duh said

    All newbies should know now, I use any excuse to post that video. It’s a classic.

  19. Rebecca said

    Question: Is this super-duper girdle stuff pronounced

    Spanks, or
    Span-ex?

  20. My Bologna Has A First Name said

    It’s spanks. Like you like to get spanked except it’s plural

  21. followourflip said

    Spanx- Like “thanks” with an “Sp”
    Used in a sentence-
    TC wear Spanx when she goes out, because she is a big girl, and hopes to find a guy who spanks her when she is bad. Freak.

  22. followourflip said

    Just kidding, I don’t know TC, I don’t know if she likes to get spanked, she might like to be whipped….

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