I guess if no one else will say it…

smile.jpgToday on FraudFiles:
“Barry Minkow, Fraud Discovery Insitute, and several well-respected experts (including Robert FitzPatrick, Dr. Jon Taylor, Attorney Doug Brooks, me, and others) are revealing the truth about Usana, and its stock has dropped over 40% since March.”

I LOVE the fact that Tracy includes herself in the list of well-respected experts.  Who says that about themselves??  I have never encountered a person so willing to toot their own horn.  And she does it with not the least bit of irony.  Tracy really believes that if she keeps telling people she is a “well-respected” expert that she will magically become one. 

Tracy, that’s not how it works babe!  Other people (preferably people in your field and not just your internet friends) should be the ones calling you an expert.  The only person I’ve seen refer to you as an expert is….well….YOU! 

But Tracy is on to something here.  In this day and age, when more and more women are on antidepressants because of depression and lack of self esteem, Tracy has come up with a way to combat those feelings of inadequacy.  Ok, maybe she didn’t INVENT bragging on yourself, but she has certainly taken it to a higher level than I ever thought possible.  (If you don’t believe that, you haven’t googled “Tracy Coenen” and read what she’s written on her own behalf.) 

So here’s a little exercise for all you downtrodden ladies who need a little ego boost.  Choose a statement and fill in the blank:

1. Hi everyone!  My name is ___________ and I am an expert in ______________.

2.  Today I got a e-mail/phone call/visit/letter from ____________(name a famous person) and we laughed about ________________(name some other famous person/incident).

3.  Yesterday ___________(name a famous smart person) called me for advice about _______________ because they know that I am an expert in __________.

4.  My credit card was declined at the grocery store, but when I told the cashier who I was she said, “_________________________”. 

5.  I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it _____________________.

6. When Tracy says,”_________________,” I think, “___________________” because _______________________________.

There you go.  I hope this helps you guys out a little.  It certainly has made Tracy who she is today! 

23 Comments »

  1. Dana said

    Hi, everyone! My name is Dana, and I’m an expert in disliking Tracy. Today, I got a phone call from ScrewU, and we laughed about Duh. And then yesterday, Me called me and asked for advice about Blessed, because she knows I’m an expert at hating on PT.

    Wow! I did just the first 3, and I feel more confident already! 😉

  2. My Bologna Has A First Name said

    This is so great, Duh! I’m gonna work on this today. I’ll make up my expertise and I will let you know later how it went. Thanks for loving us so much and taking the time to build up our self esteems. You are the bestest!

  3. Me said

    1. Hi everyone! My name is __Me_________ and I am an expert in _pointing out Tracy’s manipulations, lies and deceit_____________.

    2. Today I got a e-mail/phone call/visit/letter from __the FTC__________(name a famous person) and we laughed about _Tracy sending SPAM email_______________(name some other famous person/incident).

    3. Yesterday __Yahoo and Google_________(name a famous smart person) called me for advice about __how to deal with Tracy sending SPAM email_____________ because they know that I am an expert in _pointing out Tracy’s manipulations, lies and deceit and am becoming an expert in SPAM email_________.

    4. My credit card was declined at the grocery store, but when I told the cashier who I was she said, “_Oh, you are the one who is pointing out Tracy’s manipulations, lies and deceit. I’ll pay for your groceries–don’t worry about a thing.. Keep up the good work!!____”.

    5. I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it _I am ME, hear me roar___________________.

    6. When Tracy says,”_I suck and I’m stupid___,” I think, “_yes you are right____” because she does and she is.”

  4. Duped said

    Oooooohhhh….soooo many fun things! Here’s my first installment:

    Yesterday Johnny Cochrane called me for advice about the principles and practices of real estate law because he knows that I am an expert in my field of real estate conveyancing. Then we talked about how we have similar tastes in iPod music and thrashing in our BMW’s to Linkin Park and Korn. What a gas that was! We are meeting for coffee and biscotti at Starbucks tomorrow to hash out my new book on the Fundamentals of Real Estate Law in Canada and How to Thrash With the Best of Them in your Beamers to NWA and Still be Professional While Doing So (working titles only right now…).

    I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it all the lawyers in the US and Canada think I am so fucking HOT. Yeahhhh, baby! 😛

  5. MKRealist said

    Johnny called you from the grave?

    You MUST be special! LOL!!!

  6. Duped said

    I know!!! Fucking AMAZING, isn’t it??? Me and God and Johnny are TIGHT baby. 😛 I am such an expert, even people from the DEAD are calling me for advice baby!

    Fuck, I rock!!! hehe

  7. PC said

    LOL this is like MadLibs! I love MadLibs!

    ok…

    “Hi everyone! My name is PC and I am an expert in babycare. Today I got a e-mail from Johnson & Johnson and we laughed about the news that Nicole Richie is pregnant. Then yesterday Huggies Corporate Offices called me for advice about diapers because they know that I am an expert in wiping butts.”

    Holy crap it really works!!! that was too fun. 🙂

  8. Dana said

    6. When Tracy says,”_anything at all_,” I think, “ Lies! Lies! All lies!!!! Go squeeze your cellulite-riddled butt into some Spanx and shut up!!!!!” because she’s a lying, annoying, miserable human being.

  9. Me said

    “Go squeeze your cellulite-riddled butt into some Spanx and shut up!!!!!” ”

    I can’t stand it——(wiping tears from my eyes from laughing)

  10. My Bologna Has A First Name said

    Duped
    That was so funny! You crack me up. Like really… I’m laughing here. I can just picture you and Johnny chilling and listening to NWA. You totally rock.

  11. Duped said

    Glad to have been of service, Bologna. 🙂

    100 Miles and Runnin’ – baby, me and Johnny would have fucking rocked that shit. 😛

    I do rock, occasionally. LOL Though, my 1 year old thinks I *suck* rocks some times. 🙂

  12. DFIA said

    Hi everyone! My name is DFIA — MBA, CFA, BMF, and I am an expert in spirituality and computer peripheral design.

    Today I got a person-to-person phone call from Pope Benedict and we laughed about Oprah’s show where she had Gary Zukav and The Dancing Wu-Li Masters.

    Yesterday Bill and Melinda Gates called me for advice about a new keyboard design because they know that I am an expert in wordprocessing.

    My credit card was declined at the grocery store, but when I told the cashier who I was she said, ”Remember me when Bill and Melinda send you your first check, ok?” I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it that’s why I really thought I would succeed in Mary Kay!

    When Tracy says,”When you come back to your senses, then we can probably find a spot for you to be a contributing poster on the Discussion Board again and maybe even a Maven,” I think, “Thanks, but no thanks,” because I am really getting dizzy thinking that something just ain’t quite right here!

  13. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    You’re dizzy? DIZZY??? Don’t use my name bitch!

    BITCHES! 😉

  14. DFIA said

    Yeah. DIZZY! Got a problem with that, meet me out back. 😉

  15. Duh said

    Now don’t you all feel better about yourselves?

  16. Justim Tyme said

    I heard from a friend who knows someone in the FBI who said that Tracy Coenon, John Fitzpatrick, Barry Minkow, and others associated with them are currently being investigated by the FBI, SEC, and FTC; the primary reason is for deliberately making false statements and lies in order to intentinally manipulate the Usana stock so they can profit which is illegal and will result in being imprisoned.

  17. PC said

    JustinTyme:

    Is it Robert Fitzpatrick or Jon Taylor?

    And anyway, I heard the SEC is looking into Barry because of the stock stuff – but unless Robert Fitzpatick was messing with the stock (which I highly doubt!) then this isn’t going to amount to a hill of beans.

    Just because they exposed USANA as a scam doesn’t mean they’re getting in trouble – unless of course Barry actually WAS doing something illegal. So far there’s been no concrete evidence of that. Although it does look fishy.

    And since when do people at the FBY start blabbing the names of people they’re investigating? I’d like to know more about your source for that info.

  18. PC said

    that was supposed to say “FBI”

  19. followourflip said

    DFIA- You are a BMF? Is that a badass-mother-fuc%er?

  20. DFIA said

    followupflip – you know me so well. 😉

  21. DFIA said

    sorry that was to followourflip.

  22. Sue said

    Justin – is that you? I think you might be my new bestfriend!

  23. 1. Hi everyone! My name is Mary Poppins and I am an expert in everything, as I am practically perfect in every way .

    2. Today I got a e-mail/phone call/visit/letter from FBI & FTC and we laughed about a little known website called PT and it’s owner who is now under investigations for her dealings with Usana Stock prices falling.

    3. Yesterday Barry Minklow called me for advice about how to put it all on Tracy Coenen because they know that I am an expert in magic and can make things go my way.

    4. My credit card was declined at the grocery store, but when I told the cashier who I was she said, “Oh, Miss Poppins, carry on my dear. There are big fish to fry with Barry & Ms. Coenen”

    5. I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it I dislike TC enough to help Barry figure a way to put all blame on her.

    6. When Tracy says,”Hear my heart,” I think, “feel my knife” because she say’s it as she is stabbing you in the back.

    Better watch out Barry…..I am really not an expert. 🙂

RSS feed for comments on this post · TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: