A Big Fat Welcome to the Bitchfest

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 There are so many new people here lately.  What happened?  Did Tracy have another one of her “episodes”?

Any how, I’m glad that you guys decided that I’m not the devil.  That’s always nice.

I am Duh, the absentee owner of this here blog.  ScrewU did a great job of introducing everyone to the other contributors, so I won’t go into all that again.  I just wanted to say hello to all the newbies.

I wanted to mention something too, while I’m here.  I’m not as dumb as I look, so don’t try to get one over on me, k?  If Tracy has sent any of you hoochies over here and “given you permission to speak” in the hopes of gathering information, fah git about it.  We don’t have many secrets, but the ones we do have are air tight.   If you are still interested in bringing info back to Tracy, email me at somecallmeduh@hotmail.com, and we’ll think of something good for you to share with her.  Real good.

Don’t be scared of me outing you.  That won’t happen.  If you do decide to use your Pink Truth name over here, I can pretty much guarantee there will be some disciplinary action taken on Tracy’s part.  So be aware of that.

I’ve been told that the use of “swear words” on this site has turned some of the more conservative PTer’s, some of whom may have otherwise visited here, off.  If you are offended by curse words, FUCK YOU!  How old are you?  We’re all adults here.  If you don’t like it, PISS OFF!  Some of us need this outlet to vent our aggression.  Especially Dizzy.  She’s an ex-Mormon ya know.  Let her curse if she wants.  She’s earned it.

If you feel the need to make fun of someone whether it be a PTer or an MKer, go ahead.  But know that whoever you make fun of has every right to turn around and say crap about you.  Do so at your own risk.  And don’t come crying to me if you get your feelings hurt.  I’m not a referee.  BUT if you make fun of someone’s typo or misspelled word, I will immediately take the side of the other person and BEAT YOU DOWN!  To me, that is the cheapest and most idiotic shot you can make on another person. 

Some of the more tender hearted newbies may not be able to handle themselves in this type of environment.  To those ladies I give this advice.  If someone insults you and has hurt your feelings, and you don’t know what to say, just repeat after me “Yo Mama”.  It is THE BEST comeback and is totally impenetrable.  There is no answer to “Yo Mama”.  It’s like a force field that protects anyone who utters it.  No one can touch you if you say “Yo Mama”. 

Unless their Mama is dead.  Then you’re up shit creek my friend.

60 Comments »

  1. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Awesome! I do have anger issues I think. And I do attribute it to my Mormon upbringing. I have been deprogrammed thank you very much. So to any of you hussy bitches who are going to try to throw that Mormon shit in my face? Well listen here, you’ve been put on notice!

    BITCHES!

  2. Thank God you don’t beat on people for typos!

  3. snapya-fingers said

    I too am an ex-Mormon. Whew-thank goodness I told my mom where to stick it after doing seminary each and every morning before school my freshman year of high school. No way was I gonna do it again after one year. I told her I would go if she would go with me. I didn’t have to go anymore after that. I pretty much quit the church after that. And I love caffeine!!!!!!!!!

  4. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    LOLOLOL Snapy….I think I lurve you almost as much as Duped. But for different reasons.

    OMG I was forced to go to seminary all four years. And my MOTHER taught for one of them. Can you imagine? I haven’t been to church for about 10 years, married a non mormon, recently divorced from said non mormon and I am the black sheep. I lurve the title. They can pray for me all they want, I will never go back.

    And I lurve Starbucks! Blend that into a frappuchino and suck it.

    BITCHES!

  5. snapya-fingers said

    Well-my mom wasn’t really following the rules either. She is an alcoholic-been sober for 15 years-yeah! But she wasn’t sober then-so she really had no right to make me go when she was living the life she was living. Poor you-you are really scarred-huh? I can just hear their prayers now-Oh WOW-I’m having flashbacks-gotta quit thinking-stop-*slap myself on face*-Whew-calming down now…I love your word lurve. Me loves me some lurve! Suckin’ some Frappy!

  6. Barf said

    Duh you aren’t the devil? I’m disappointed.

  7. What What said

    Welcome newbies! I hope you enjoy the bitchfest – there are many laughs to be had! I don’t post very often but I read every day…mostly hoping that Duh will post some more videos for me to laugh at. You’re slacking Duh- my unemployed ass needs some entertainment! I lost my dancing monkey. 😦

  8. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Snapy….glad to hear your mom is sober. That’s some scary shit right there. My uncle died at the age of 50 due to years of drug and alcohol abuse. That shit really fucks up your life.

    How’s this fo ya:

    “I’d like to bear my testimony that I know the church is true, that Joseph Smith is the true profit” HAHAHAHA

    BARFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

    BITCHES!

  9. Dana said

    “If someone insults you and has hurt your feelings, and you don’t know what to say, just repeat after me “Yo Mama”. It is THE BEST comeback and is totally impenetrable. There is no answer to “Yo Mama”. It’s like a force field that protects anyone who utters it. No one can touch you if you say “Yo Mama”. ”

    Ha! That’s great. I feel like I’m back in 10th grade, but……

    still awesome.

  10. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Yeah, I agree Dana. That was cool, I forgot to mention that to DUH. Givin’ ya props DUH.

    Douchebag.

    BITCHES!

  11. flycat said

    HAHAHAHAHA I am no ex Mormon but Dizzy you are giving me flashbacks of the 8 grueling years of Catholic grammar school I endured. Funky plaid uniforms and all. LOL

    I lurve lurve too.

    MEOW

  12. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    So more than mormons were tortured in these ridicuous classes and schools eh? That’s RETARDED!

    BITCHES!

  13. PrincessSnore said

    Why thank you duh for the kind welcomin! I downright appreciate it.

    Yo mama!

  14. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    I think princessSnore likes the new tag line…”yo mama”. Thanks a lot DUH shes’ abusing it now.

    BITCHES!

  15. PrincessSnore said

    I do like that. It tickles my fancy.

    Yo mama!

  16. MK4ME (Black Sheep) said

    MK4ME (Black Sheep) said,
    August 13, 2007 @ 3:53 pm

    Posted this on the other thread and then everyone moved on 😦 I really hoped most would see it, plus don’t know, think my head was up my arse but I screwed up the joke, so here it is again and the joke is fixed.

    Hey all, wanted to say this for a long time but now with so many new PTer’s coming on board.. I do enjoy it here, some of you are so funny, you could give the Blue Collar Comedy Group a run for their money…. seriously you could take your show on the road and probably make lots of $$$. And we could all say we knew you when!

    Anyway, from my name – you know where I stand but, I have read many of the stories on PT and I have wanted to share that I was horrified, shocked, mortified, and embarrassed. (I believe you) but some of the stuff was near unbelievable. I read and read and I know it isn’t worth the paper and pen it is written on (get it), but, I am SO SORRY, truly sorry for what many of you experienced.

    I read stuff that sound like common practices in your area that I can’t believe people even would think to do. Call me naive but wow, ((Fake people – activating someone who didn’t know, etc..) -how anyone thinks it won’t catch up to them sooner or later is beyond me. I will continue to stand up against anything I see being done wrong and I have watched the Company take action when these things are reported and documented in writing so but it is up to us to police ourselves and I will continue to stand up against anything I see that is unethical Ok enough serious stuff, but I felt I had to say it, I am sorry for what you experience. I am not a rookie director, I have been around for 13 years, love it and maybe because of my beliefs will never be a $1,000,000 director but I don’t give a sh*t about that. I don’t have to answer to anyone but my maker and myself.

    Now….

    Question of the day: (Don’t think to hard)

    You know why when geese fly in a v formation one side is always longer than the other side- do you know why? ……

    Aerodynamics????

    winddrag???

    Nope, there are more geese on that side. lol

    This is just plain ole b.s. (nope not b*ll Sh*t) but Black Sheep:)

    and shout out to dizzy, I was the original Black Sheep, but you can use it any time. 🙂 I lurve Dizzy!

  17. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Wow, lots of people lurve Dizzy apparently. What did I do to gain such admiration???? Other than threatening people that is. 😉

    BITCHES!!!

  18. snapya-fingers said

    Dizzy-you mean he really isn’t the true one? I lurve me some yo mama lurve!

  19. FollowOurFlip said

    I say “Your Momma” to my husband all the time, and it stops him dead in his tracks, and he says “but you like my mom” and I say “yeah, but thats not the point”.
    And I win.
    I always win.
    Dizzy, what’s this quote from ” I win.” “Why” “Because I WIN!”

  20. My Bologna Has A First Name said

    FollowOurFlip
    There is something really neat about you. I like how you tell stories. If you lived near me, I would have you come over to my house and tell me bedtime stories.

  21. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    FFOF ~ You got me stumped on that one. Why u gotta make it so hard like?
    geez………..

    BITCHES!

  22. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    ROFLMAO @ Bologna. REad you bed time stories? ARe you for real? HAHAHAHAHA

    But it’s a good idea, add me to the story list.

    BITCHES!

  23. PrincessSnore said

    It’s a followourflip lovefest! I’m ready for my story FFOF.

  24. My Bologna Has A First Name said

    Dizzy
    Bed time stories are the best! You probably wouldn’t be so crabby if you had someone read them to you.

  25. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    No way Bologna, I would be a lot less crabby if I got me some good sex. Get it straight yo.

    BITCHES!

  26. What What said

    “Big Daddy” – I win!

  27. Love your honesty Duh – welcome everybody.

  28. FollowOurFlip said

    I just tried to post a fucking comment and the fucking computer had a fucking error and now I have to remember the fucking funny comment I was going to post…….sorry for my fucking language….

  29. FollowOurFlip said

    Right on WhatWhat, I love that movie! “Hip-Hop-tonamus”

    Bologna- I think my stories would give you funny dreams, like Dr. Seuss shit. Cats with hats in vats of jacks that poke their butts like cheap downtown sluts who smoke their crack with a hobo named Jack who has a tattoo on his back of a humpback whale having sex with a snale on top of a bale of hay in the middle of May or June or July with a big apple pie….shall I continue? Are you asleep yet? Time to sneak out of the room and smoke a blunt so I am come up with more stories….

    PrincessSnore- check. Looks like my work is done, you are already snoring…. (Love fest?? Love DUH, and ScewU, and Dizzy, I am just a peon here for the fun…)

    Dizzy- You DO need to get laid, anyone here have a “friend” for Dizzy??

  30. FollowOurFlip said

    Rock on What What!! “Hip-hop-a-tonamus”

    Bologna- You don’t want me to tell bed time stories, I would give you weird dreams, like some kind of Dr. Seuss shit. Cats with hats in vats of jacks that poke their butts like cheap dirty sluts who smoke their crack with a hobo named Jack who has a tattoo on his back of a whale having sex with a snale on a bale of hay in May or June or July with warm apple pie like that movie…..you asleep yet? Time to sneak out of the room and smoke a blunt so I can come up with more stories…..

    PrincessSnore- Check. My work is done here, Ms. SNORE. (No love fest for me, love DUH or ScrewU or Dizzy, I am a peon here, just having fun)

    Dizzy- You DO need to get laid. Anyone here have a “friend” for Dizzy? I hear she is kinky….

    Ok, I think that is all I was going to post….but the original post was damn funny.

  31. FollowOurFlip said

    Lookie here, they both showed up. There is some double funny for ya. Peace.

  32. Dizzy can’t have all the “friends”…I need one (some) too.
    Dizzy are you a good sharer??? LOL

  33. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    FFOF ~ OMG that was hillarious! You are a lyrical bitch you are!

    Semi ~ I don’t do sloppy seconds, but if I have a “friend” who has a “friend” I would let you have the “friend”. Get it? 😉

    BITCHES!!!

  34. PrincessSnore said

    FFOF – rats, I wanted to be your love child.

  35. FollowOurFlip said

    I don’t think I am old enough to have a love child….but if I did, you are my second choice! Right behind some really talented kid who would grow up to make millions, and then, in a britney-esqe fashion, go off to rehab, but leave me in charge of the money and mansion……

  36. I'll have a Cosmo said

    Thanks for the welcome to your bitchfest! While I may not have a whole helluva lot to say, I enjoy reading it! FYI: Did MK, hated it, got out of MK. Could care less who sells it, who loves it or who hates it.

  37. BeenOutted said

    Thanks for the kind welcomin duh! I’m might ‘preciative a that! I been lurkin in the trees atchya’ll and I’ve grown kinda accumstumed to ya. Thought I’d walk on in here and introduce myself. I’m Beenoutted.

    I don’t take too kindly to bein outted neither. Makes my blood boil downright to my nasty toes. I’ve aint never seen Miss Duh do that to no one and if I did a Ida said so. I’ve seen others do it and it aint purty. Shows that there left side of ’em, not the right side.

    I’ll be mozeein on now. It’s a special thing ya’ll do, duhin up the world.

  38. Dizzy, Friend of a friend is perfect. I no likey sloppy seconds either…..eeeewwwwwwwwwww 😉

  39. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Sloppy seconds just aint right yo.

    BITCHES!

  40. Duped said

    Sloppy seconds is better than spongy thirds. *shrug*

    Welcome, BeenOutted and Cosmo. Pleased to meet you. 🙂

  41. ugh, “spongy thirds” ~ never heard that before. I definitely don’t want those.

  42. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Yes, spongy thirds sounds dastardly disgusting. ew.

    BITCHES!

  43. One of Sixteen Vestal Virgins said

    You like me. You really like me. Actually, I don’t give a flyin’ fuck if you do or not, but y’all’re real hospitable. That makes Virgie smile — real wide. I do find it somewhat relaxing not to have this perpetually vague but highly ominous cloud of impending doom hanging over my head 24/7 when I post something here. That’s worth something. It won’t be cash, though, so get over that right now. It may just be a special emoticon sometime down the road.

  44. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    I think you, miss verginal whatever you are, will get alone just fine with us here.

    Is it just me, or do you all find that it’s interesting to see how much funnier we are on this blog? We could never let it just rip anywhere else. Here, it seems for the most part that we are really being true to ourselves.

    Yall are some funny bitches!

  45. tracysucks said

    I love Virgie cuz she said “y’all’re” — that is so fucking country, I know I love you.

  46. Dizzy you just hit on why I like to post here….it’s because it reminds me of your old blog and I really liked that blog..although I think I said some not nice things there, sorry MkRealist…and also that’s where Duh first began to dislike me intensely. Oh, those were the days…

  47. One of Sixteen Vestal Virgins said

    Aww, tracysucks (typing that I just passed another fear hurdle lol). I was jis fixin’ ta say that I love y’all too.

  48. Duh said

    Good times. Good times…

  49. One of Sixteen Vestal Virgins said

    thats miss vestal verginal to you dizzy!

  50. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Oh, why am I being singled out by having to call you by your sorta whole name? I’m soooooo not cool with that.

    Just for being a hussy, you will now be called OOSVV. Deal with it.

    BITCHES!

  51. Kit-n-Kaboodle said

    Duh, I thought you were ALREADY in Texas:

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070815/ap_on_re_us/tropical_weather;_ylt=AtdusALbLwxrTXqms_ko_dSs0NUE

  52. One of Sixteen Vestal Virgins said

    Sheesh! Talk about hussy, you strumpet! You know you coulda just called me Virgie. But, if you like CAPS lock, that’s cool. Don’t want no trouble.

  53. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    OK you ho. I’ll call you Virgie. God you’re so particular aren’t you?

    BITCHES!

  54. One of Sixteen Vestal Virgins said

    Off my grill, wench! Look at it this way. If I were driving a car and you were my passenger, you would want me to be particular, wouldn’t you? So shoot me if it’s a sin to follow through as best as possible in other areas. That’s all I’m sayin’. If I’m careful with my name, I just might be careful drivin’ yer ass around town, too. Hop in!

  55. That was a really good analogy…now if ONLY you would have compared YOURSELF to the car…be the car…then it could have been an inspired metaphor. Keep working on it. I give it a B.

  56. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    I HATE analogies. Makes me have to think. I’m not down with that.

    Oh Virgie, you need to get laid, you are WAY too uptight. But I will ride around with you as long as I get to pick the music!

  57. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    By the way Virgie, the correct way to use “grill” is…

    Get up off my grill! or Why you up in my grill? But you have to pronounce Grill like “greeeeow”

    Get it?

  58. One of Sixteen Vestal Virgins said

    Got it! You can pick out the music. Now get up off my greeeeow! lol

  59. Ode to TraCY said

    this is my metaphorical story inspired by Tracy…

    Once Upon A Time there was a tightly closed flower bud, which was a little bit off-color from the rest of the garden. There was something vaguely odiferous about it, and yet the other flowers were properly awed by its mysterious aura and the way it kept itself so tightly closed – as if it was simply too good to let anyone see it’s petals.

    Then one day the gardener transferred the flower bud to a pot, and put it on display in the greenhouse. There it was properly in a place of authority over the other inferior buds, and so the little odiferous flower decided to bloom and show the world its glory.

    When it finally uncurled its last petal and let everyone feast their eyes on its glory, they were shocked. The odor was worse than anything they had imagined. It was so bad, in fact, that they were sure that the flower had no idea how bad it was, and so they worshipped her in fear. She was the ugliest color they’d ever seen too – but since the flower was obviously incredibly rare and had no equal, they figured it MUST be something special.

    The gardener let the ugly flower rein over the greenhouse for a time, until finally all the flowers were sick of the stench and the fear.

    One day the gardener came into the greenhouse and looked at the flower. He sniffed the air.

    “This flower really isn’t so special after all” he said. “I think it just stinks.”

    The rest of the greenhouse nodded their petals in agreement.

    The gardener lopped of the ugly flower and threw it in a trash bin outside.

    The garden was very happy after that day. 🙂

  60. Ode to TraCY said

    please excuse the typos in my above masterpiece. lol

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