Smoke ’em if ya got ’em


I’m in a pissy mood today.  I have mixed a deadly combination of PMSing and quitting smoking.  It’s a bad bad day in the house of Screw.   I’m trying not to kill any living things here, including animals and children but I can not make any promisess.  Fortunately, that 6th sense that Bologna talked about must be in use because they are all being freakishly good. 

For those of you that have never smoked, quitting is the hardest and worst thing I have ever been thru.  I told myself that I would never smoke again because it was so terrible to quit.  But life gets tough and you do what you know.  It was either smoke again or become an alcoholic.  I make a lousy drunk so I opted for smoking again.  And now I want to punch myself in the face for doing it.

Quitting smoking is like disconnecting with your brain and plugging all outlets into your emotions.  You are just a raw mess of feelings.  You can end up crying, screaming and cathartic.  The simplest tasks now are complicated.  You can’t focus.  It’s like there’s a foggy haze sitting in your brain.  For example, I was in the shower and I was having problems remembering what my routine was.  You know you have one too.  I wash my hair, then my face.  Rinse.  Condition and wash my body.  Shave legs, underarms.  Then rinse.  Well, today I completely forgot how to do it.  I shampooed and then I thought, huh-what comes next?  Wierd.  It reminded me of those PSA’s of ‘If you can learn to drive again without smoking, you can learn to do a lot of things without smoking’.  Should have been a camera in my shower…

And then there was the irrational moment when I had a pure and unadulterated hate for the woman standing in my neighbor’s lawn smoking.  I looked out my window and saw her and I hated her just for being able to smoke while I couldn’t.  Makes a lot of sense, right?  I quickly realized that I am high from nicotine withdrawals and yes… this too, shall soon pass.  Til then, I’m a raging bitch. 


  1. What What said

    So what was your excuse for being a bitch all those other times? LOL – you know I lurve you ScrewU, raging bitch and all!

  2. Oh…girl. I feel your pain. I was a pack a day smoker for about 8 years. Marlboro Light 100s..thank you very much. I quit about 15 years ago and it sucked rocks. That was before I had children so I didn’t have that added thing going on…so I feel I got off easy in some respects.

    Hang in there, babe…it does get better with time and those people who know what you’re going through will stick with you no matter how bitchy you get.

    Well done, taking care of your body…you rock.

  3. Way to go! Quitting smoking is hard. Mine were Marlboro Light Menthols. You can do it. You will feel SO MUCH BETTER once you get past this!!!

  4. I'll have a Cosmo said

    Ask your doctor for a prescription for Chantix. It works!! Go to

  5. Although sometimes I DO look longingly at someone when they are smoking…lol

  6. colleen said

    I want to quit too..

  7. foreverpink said

    Hey guys, each state should have a free quit line that you can use to help, some even give out free nicotine replacement products.

    I am so proud of all of you who have decided to quit, I know it is beyond hard, all behavior changes are. Just keep going! Its ok to be a raging bitch!!

  8. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    ScrewU. You KNOW I feel your pain. This is week 2 for me, and gurl….it is SO much better right now. My choice? Marlboro Ultra Lights. I used to smoke menthol back in the day, but then heard it had fiberglass in it. So I stopped and went to the regular lights. Since then I’ve quit on and off for 12 years. It aint easy. Don’t forget to add depression to your list of emotions! Once you get past the “what do I do next” part, it’s easier. Also, you can’t hang out with any of your smoker friends. Makes it hard. Give yourself a month before doing that. If they are your real friends, they will understand. Hang in there chica. You can do it!

  9. I smoked for about 15 or 16 years and I quit almost 10 years ago. I started smoking at the age of 12 (I know – bad!). I didn’t really get addicted to it though until I was out of high school.

    I tried to quit cold turkey but that didn’t work very well. I went to the doctor and went on Zyban. That worked beautifully. I didn’t have withdrawal or anything.

  10. Duh said

    I quit cold turkey back in January. Cigarette packs went up a dollar a pack, and that was just TOO MUCH. It wasn’t worth killing myself anymore.

    I quit when I was pregnant, but both times wound up smoking again. This time, I think it’ll stick. I like to smell pretty.

  11. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    LOL DUH. ScrewU, hopefully you didn’t smoke in the car. That’s a REALLY hard habit to break. We never smoked in the house or in the cars. So that much was easier. You’ll save TONS of money and smell pretty like DUH. Can you get EXCITED about that???? 😉

  12. PT is Smokin'........Not! said

    Ok all you quitters!

    Way to go. I’m not there yet. Have tried numerous times (Zyban put me in ICU for anaphylactic shock after two weeks of use….fun times). If you ever wondered how to get admitted to the hospital with no muss, no fuss–that will do it. 🙂

    I also require my brain to function at work (I know what you mean about that ScrewU). But, I’ll get there. You guys are so inspiring. Never quit quitting.

  13. Left the Freakshow said

    screw u, i know you feel like a raging bitch right now, but it could be worse … you could be tracy …

    congrats on givin’ up the smokes and taking control of your health … cheers to you!

  14. Willie Lump Lump said


    I’m over here trynna lurk and you fuckin’ my eyes with up with all the changes every 2 seconds (and why is it taking tracy so long to get hers up again?….anyway)

    Um, banana smoothie?? WTH Duh??

  15. Willie Lump Lump said

    That black you had goin’ was fuckin’ rockin’ tho!

  16. Duh said

    PC didn’t like the black. I thought it was pretty good too. I can’t have PC upset though.

  17. Willie Lump Lump said


  18. Willie Lump Lump said

    But does the fuckin’ FONT have to be so uh….small?

  19. PC said

    ok the black was fine EXCEPT that the title was all F’ed up – it was showing up halfway down the screen, over top of everything else. Was it just me?

    Fine. I like the black better than this banana crap. God, DUH, I liked your first layout the best (the light blue one, ha ha)

  20. Ooooh this is fun. I don’t like this banana stuff, and PC might attest that I do have a penchant for the dark side…

    Tip if the font is too small, hit control PLUS on your keyboard to enlarge it.

  21. PC said

    oMG therapist that is a cool trick. you’re too good at this comPutEr stuF.

    But WHen I Type it LoOoKs all wEIrd

    DUH You’re going to lose readers with this layout. Just SAYIN

  22. FreeFromPT said

    Therepast – my EYES thank you.

  23. Me said

    I quit smoking 51 days ago. I used Chantix but am weaning myself off of it now. Way to go, SU!

  24. Duped said

    ScrewU, I am feeling your pain. Though, I have to admit, I have cheated. I just can’t give up that morning smoke. I am SO proud of you though – my dh is wondering if he should ship me off until I get over the edginess…I get very violent thoughts during the first week. Yowza.

    Keep it up – it will only get better. And congrats to all you other quitters on here too! 😛

  25. FollowOurFlip said

    Yo, people, go comment on my blog. I am a skered about the little bubbles in this house. Tell me if you think it is a ghost……I really want this house……

  26. NorthCarolinaNewbie said

    Two of my good friends just quit in May using Chantix. They both smoked 2 packs per day. I need to get an appointment with my doc and get some of it. I’ve heard several people say it works great. I need to quit. Since I’ve been unemployed (almost 3 years now), I smoke like crazy. My mother died from lung cancer over a year ago and I should know better. I do know better, but it’s an awful addiction. Hang in there folks!

  27. The Cheese Stands Alone said

    Good luck, ScrewU (and everyone else struggling to quit)!

    My grandmother died from emphysema when I was 14. I only remember her as being an old lady with dull, brittle, ashy gray hair and dull saggy skin. She was always in the house, never came outside, coughed all the time. Eventually had to use a nebulizer several times a day (my sisters and I called it her “peace pipe” ).

    It wasn’t until years later that I realized that when my grandma died she was only 57 years old. Really sad. You would have sworn she was in her 70s.

    My mom smoked when we were kids, quit each time she was pregnant, and finally quit for good when my little sister was born. That will be 30 years ago this December. My mom just turned 60 on Aug. 3rd. She usually stuns people because she could EASILY pass for 45-50. For her birthday we took her to SIx Flags. She rode all the rollercoasters!

  28. La la la la Lo-la said

    I feel your pain, too…keep up the good work! I quit 3 years ago and I thought I would DIE. I LUUUURRRRRVVVed to smoke! I was a pack a day x 10 years!

    I got really depressed and continued with my caffeine habit. Fianlly weaned myself off of that about four months ago. I feel SO MUCH better. YOU CAN DO THIS! (Sorry about the love fest, bitches, but I feel strongly that SU needs the support)

    It does get better, just hang on….

  29. I'll have a Cosmo said


    Get the Chantix!! It’ll be a little over $100 without insurance but what do you pay for cigs??

  30. Me said

    I found that Sam’s was the cheapest place to purchase the Chantix, at least in my area. You do NOT have to be a member of Sam’s to use their pharmacy. I have found support groups and message boards for Chantix users and some insurance does cover. Mine didn’t. I started taking it June 24, smoked my last cigarette June 30 and have weaned off the Chantix. In fact, I forgot it today. I will probably take 1/2 pill a day for another week or so.

    It is VERY worth the money. You do have to put forth some effort, but nothing like cold turkey. I smoked 42 years and quit in seven days. Amazing.

  31. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Wow ME. That’s really great!

    Look ScrewU, you got soooooooooo much support here. You can DO it!

  32. ScrewU said

    Thanks ladies for being so great. I’m almost done with day 3 and I don’t feel so much that I want to kill something as much as I want to die.

    Why is the mental addiction almost harder than the physical? Damn those cigarette companies.

  33. FreeFromPT said

    Congratulations, Me. The real question is: are the people in your house still alive? 😉 HAHA j/k.

    I don’t know ScrewU. I’ve never smoked. I do know that if I ever had to give up chocolate, death could come soon enough thereafter.

    How long have you smoked? I’ve chocolated all my life.

  34. Smokey said

    Screw should try a big fat ass chronic blunt instead…….

  35. Me said

    Everyone is still alive but barely. My quit was pretty painless really because of the Chantix. My husband quit last week cold turkey and….well….let’s say he’s been in better moods in his life! My son is quitting using Chantix but it’s been over a week since he started taking it and he hasn’t quit smoking yet. Wimp.

    SU, the physical part was way harder for me too, and surprised me that it was. I automatically reached for my cigs whenever I got in the car or walked out of a building where I normally wouldn’t smoke. It took a couple of weeks for that part to stop. Now I feel really free. I know you all think that MK is silly but I used MK training on the first day of my quit. I was driving to the grocery store and really wanted to smoke (or so I thought) and I said to myself over and over, “I am a nonsmoker. I quit smoking.” The craving lasted about four minutes and I got through it with the positive affirmation. Now it feels really good to say that! I keep thinking of all the things I can do now, like take long plane trips.

    54 days today!

  36. Love Friends said

    wahooo for 54 day! I think positive affirmations rock! I don’t think laying your hands on a cadillac and claiming it as yours works, but I do believe that when it comes to self-control that affirmations work.

  37. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    I”m with smokey on this one. Git yoself some good ol fasion weed. It’ll take the edge off.



    OH, congrats ME, 54 days is really good! I’m on day 14.

  38. Me said

    Thanks, Dizzy. Day 14 (15 now) is a great start to 55 days! You are through the hardest part.

  39. Dizzy from the Dastardly Ways of Tracy said

    Yeah this time around is much easier than the last time. I just started going back to the gym this week too. So instead of smoking when I get stressed, I’m trying to remember the gym!

  40. I'll have a Cosmo said

    Haven’t had a smoke in 5 1/2 hours now and don’t really feel like one. Chantix is working! But shit it gives me vivid, fucked up dreams!!

  41. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Cosmo….the nicotine patch used to do the same thing to me. I had to take the patch off at night before bed.

  42. I'll have a Cosmo said

    Well, I can’t upchuck the pill I suppose! No ther side effects though. It is bizaare how the need for a cig leaves you. Chantix works on the brain. Wonder what else it can work on while it is up there betwix me ears!

  43. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Cosmo….you’re fucked. sorry.


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