Are you dumb or just immoral?


Written By: ScrewU

Thank Gawd, I have Pink Truth or I would have no morals.  How would I know I was stealing if someone on PT didn’t tell me?  Thanks so much Tracy and the Pink Truthers.  May you live on foevah!!!


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I am a porch thief!!!

« on: Yesterday at 09:30 AM »

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And I wouldn’t have known that I am one without Pink Truth!!

I had never heard the term “porch thief” until someone used it here on PT recently.

My husband was doing some repairs on a house we own and came home with two big boxes that had been mistakenly delivered to that address.   Avon  was calling — but no one was home.

So easy to slip into a life of crime.
 Bad Guy

(The boxes are on my front porch and Avon has been called to come get them.)

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I bought a book on overcoming procrastination.  Someday I may get around to reading it.


  1. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    I don’t get it. Someone delivered Avon to their house they own in error right? Or is she just “saying” that because she thinks it’s funny to steal Avon products?

    I don’t get it.

  2. ScrewU said

    Yes Dizzy
    The post office or UPS delivered 2 Avon boxes to her house in error and she wouldn’t have known that it was wrong and to return them unless she was on Pink Truth.

    Maybe we have found the answer to society’s problem of how to reform criminals. They don’t need better work skills or therapy or a hand up… they need Pink Truth. THATS what they are missing.

  3. Mentally Fucked by Tracy said

    Um. WTF.

    How the hell did PT teach that shit? Morals? Tracy has morals????

  4. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    What a fucktard. Her post makes no sense. If she’s calling herself a porch thief, then she would be stealing something that’s not hers. Maybe she’s done that in the past, and because of PT, she learned the err of her ways?

    WHAT A FUCKTARD! Everyone knows if mail is delivered to your house in error, you don’t keep it ya dipshit!


    Fuckin Hookers!

  5. Duped said

    Okay, I agree with Dizzy. This woman is a prime example of a fucktard. So, if it wasn’t for Pink Truth, you would have kept the boxes???

    It is just fucked up that you are PROUD of the fact that you are JUST NOW realizing that stealing is WRONG. *headdesk*

    Fudge Lickers.

  6. Pix said

    K, don’t throw rocks, ‘cuz I’m not defending anyone but…I think she was trying to be funny. Apparently MKC has been accusing those who sell MK on eBay of stealing the product from people’s doorsteps (porch thieves), and this woman was making a funny about how her hubby just took the boxes from their other house and brought them home. I know, lame…but I’m pretty sure thats what the point of the story was…making a funny at corporate.

    How sad is it that I could recognize the dumbass humor!!

  7. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    Yeah, what Duped just said.



  8. What is a fucktard? Is it a fucking retard? Just wondering…

  9. Technically a “PORCH THEIF” is someone who steals from someone elses porch. Hypothetical Example: My neighbor got large UPS delivery and was not home. I go over and take it from her property to my own without permission or intent to return it. Use the products as she saw fit. That is and would be what a porch theif would do.

    What a dumbass this evebichon2 is!!!! If it was delivered to her property that she owned, she didn’t steal it, she just accepted it. That is merely possession of stolen/lost property.

    This poor person is searching PT for the right thing to do. ****Let’s Get A Little Bit Cracy – C R A ZZZZZ Y******The morals at PT are so fuckin low that she is getting her information from bottom feeders. The one’s that eat the most shit and spew it around in their hatred and spit it out for the next bottom feeder.

    Evebichon2 is just wanting a title, like say MAVEN?? Since she can’t have that, she chose “Porch Theif”

  10. FOF – It can be or it can be whatever you want. Fucking Retard makes sense to me. We like fucktard cus it sounds cool regardless of what it means.

    The early 20 something guys that work for me use all kinds of “tard” words: asstard, fucktard, dicktard, etc. They seem to all be friends and use them toward one another jokingly and sometimes in anger. It’s odd to me as I am quite a bit older. But I do like fucktard. That one just sounds cool.

  11. I see. I like the term “sharted” for those farts that are almost shitting on yourself……

  12. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said

    FOF…………OMG…..I am fucking laughing out loud. Sharted……….hahahahaha I gotta remember that one!!

  13. yeah, I pulled one-a ’em last night, bought brought my husband to tears….

  14. ’bout, gotta get that fucking “idiot” lingo down….

  15. Mentally Fucked by Tracy said

    FOF – LOL!

  16. Sharted sounds so much better than what my son and dear hubby call em: hershey squirts (suddenly makes you hate hershey chocolate)

  17. PC said

    OK, I see what the joke was because I remember MKC spreading that stupid story about how women are getting their MK orders stolen right off their front porches… so Pix, I get it.

    It’s just that the crazy rabid wolves here like to tear into anything that smells like meat. LOL

    FOF – gross.

    And to all a good night!

  18. Strawberry Shortcake said

    I’m glad we have PT to tell us not to steal and how to put on our Spanx power panties. If it wasn’t for PT, I couldn’t have gotten dressed this morning. What will PT tell us next? ROTFL

  19. Dominatrix said

    Sharted — LOL — I remember that from “Along Came Polly”. Philip Seymour Hoffman said it to Ben Stiller.

    Sandy Lyle: Reuben, I’m in a situation here. We have to leave now.
    Reuben Feffer: No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?
    Sandy Lyle: Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted.
    Reuben Feffer: I don’t know what that means.
    Sandy Lyle: I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let’s go.
    Reuben Feffer: You’re the most disgusting person I’ve ever met in my life.

  20. One of Sixteen Vestal Virgins said

    Hate to break up the party, but this post is tongue in cheek. That’s right – sarcasm. She has called to pick up the boxes. Did I miss something?

  21. eyesicle said

    Sharted, LOL! I forgot about that!

  22. FreeFromPT (sickie/happ2beme) said

    Oh HAHAHA I love it! The porch thief story rises again. LOL

    Someone give that girl (evebichon) some karma from me. Slap some on mrs too for sayin bullshit.

  23. I am TOO a Daisy! said

    I’m giggling like a 12-year-old boy over the word “sharted” and the memorable movie quote.

    Thanks a lot. Now I have to explain it to my third grader.

    A note from his teacher is sure to come home today…

  24. Glad I could be of service.
    I forgot about that in the movie, good exchange there.
    Semi-Charmed- You are right, I HATE Hershey Squirts. WTF? Don’t mess with my chocolate! Have you heard of Hershey Highway? I hate that one too….

  25. I STILL don’t get it. The boxes were delivered in error, so she called Avon to pick them up. So effing what? I would think with these women that the coup would be they were correctly delivered to that address (perhaps to a tenant who’s a representative), and she took them home and called Avon to pick them up.

  26. Spank My Fanny said

    I just thought it was a cleverly disguised way of stirring the pot by making a reference to porch theives so everyone would think of FFPT. :p

  27. why? not said

    ok, missed do porch thieves and FFPT connect?

  28. Spank My Fanny said

    FFPT and I joked about porch thieves when we were talking about insurance coverage (those jaunty posts have been deleted from said thread) and I know that it was a running joke back in the spring on several threads.

  29. How can you be a porch thief if you take it off of your own porch???

    I get that she was trying to be funny, but, uh… well I know funny and that’ ain’t it.

  30. Spank My Fanny said

    Aw. . . cut her some slack. She recently learned the term and was trying to use it but fucked it up. I still think it was a shout-out to FFPT.

  31. Duh said

    Yeah Spank. Like you know when someone just learns to curse and they say stuff like, “Pass me the asshole potatos” or “My car is bullshit broken”.

  32. why? not said

    Damn, Duh! I didn’t cheese flavored dildo! know you have butt-lick! Tourette’s ball-sweat! Syndrome.

  33. Dizzy from the Dastardly ways of Tracy said


    Ok good so I”m glad I’m not the only one who didn’t get the joke. Whatever dude, it’s fuckin retarded…


  34. Spank My Fanny said

    LOL Duh!

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